Spa Gems
by DragonBat362
Summary: The Gems are exhausted from a long string of missions, so Steven and Connie send them to the Beach City Ocean Breeze Spa for some much needed rest and relaxation. How will the Gems fare in this new environment?
1. Overworked

**Hey guys! It's been a while, but I'm back! This is something I've wanted to write for a while, but a combination of schoolwork and my own general laziness kept putting it off. Well, no longer! This shouldn't take too long to write and Thanksgiving break is right around the corner, so I'll try and post new chapters every few days. Remember to hit that "fav" button and leave a comment below!**

* * *

Spa Gems

Steven quickly summoned his shield as the warp stream began to fade.

"Okay monster!" he yelled, heroically leaping off the newly formed warp pad. "Face your doom at the hands of the Crystal…"

He paused, recognizing the surroundings as his home.

"Gems?" He looked around in confusion. "The monster's here?"

"Nope," Garnet said, bubbled Gem in hand. "We're just dropping you off, Steven." She tapped the bubble and it vanished into the temple.

"You're leaving me here?!" Steven moaned. "Aw, come on guys! We're on a roll!"

"Steven, three missions in one day in MORE than enough," Pearl said. "We're all very proud of you, but it's time to call it a night."

"Eat some dinner, take a shower, and then get in bed," Garnet instructed. "We'll be back in the morning."

"Later dude!" Amythest waved as the warp pad activated and the Gems vanished.

* * *

Despite his lingering reservations about being left behind, Steven did as he was told and tended to his needs. After a decent meal and a hot shower later, Steven crawled into bed. He lay there, thinking about the events that had transpired today. Together he and the Gems had beaten a giant, fire-breathing ant, a living mountain, and a 50-foot-long floating serpent. Wondering what monstrosity the Gems were facing without him, Steven drifted off to sleep.

* * *

" _Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy,_ " Steven sang in a hushed tone as he sprayed whipped cream all over his mountain of waffles. He was interrupted by the hum of the warp pad.

"Morning Ste-Man!" Amethyst bounced off the pad and landed on the couch.

"Have a good night?" Pearl asked.

"Fine," Steven replied. "How was the hunt?"

"Oh, it was…" Pearl paused and, to Steven's surprise, yawned. Something Steven rarely saw her do. "long."

"It was a giant bull." Garnet said as she sent the bubbled Gem to the boiling room. "Armored skin. Whirlwind breath. Took us forever to pin him down."

"Ha! You should have seen Pearl on its back!" Amythest joked from the couch. "Oh, I hope I never forget that face."

"Excuse me Amethyst, but that thing nearly flattened me!" Pearl argued.

"Yeah, and it was hilarious!"

"Well, why don't you guys join me for breakfast and tell me the whole story?" Steven pushed a few chairs out for the Gems.

Garnet suddenly put her hand to her shades. "Sorry Steven, but we've got to go,"

"Aw! Another mission?" Amythest groaned.

"I'm sensing something heading for Charm City," the Gem leader explained. "We need to head it off. Gems, warp pad!"

Groaning, Amythest left her spot on the couch and shuffled over.

"Really Amethyst, show some pride in your work," Pearl scolded her. She waved cheerfully to Steven. "Bye Steven!" With a flash, they were gone.

* * *

"Come on, Lonely Blade!" Steven cheered on his TV. "End Lord Kougun's reign of terror!" The warp pad flashed and the Gems were back.

"Guys!" Steven cheered.

Garnet dashed off the pad and through the temple door. "Can't talk right now, Steven,"

"Huh?"

"There's a giant ice monster up in the Great North," Pearl explained. "We just dropped in so Garnet could grab the Magma Piercer."

"Magma Piercer? What's that?"

Steven got his answer when Garnet rushed back out of the temple, a glowing red broadsword in her hand.

"We need it to break through the monster's armor. Okay, bye!" Pearl barely had time to finish before the warp stream swallowed them up.

* * *

"일어나, 하나, 둘, 셋, 넷! 아래, 하나, 둘, 셋, 넷!"(1)

Steven flexed and stretched, following along to the foreign workout program.

"왼쪽 : 하나! 오른쪽 : 하나! 아래 : 하나! 최대 : 하나!"(2)

 _WOOSH!_

"They're back!" Steven switched off the radio and rushed inside, only to see the Gems once again warp away. Floating away from the pad was a note, which he caught and read.

 _Steven: Banshee attack in Mexico. See you soon. Love, the Gems_.

* * *

 _Beep! Beep! Beep!_ "Oh boy!" Steven threw down his Metal Mutt metal detector and started digging through the sand. "Please be gold! Please be gold!"He held his discovery up to the sunlight and frowned. "A Guacola can?! Ew!" He threw it away in disgust. "Who even drinks that stuff?!"

* * *

Somewhere far away, Onion burped.

* * *

"Hmmph! So much for man's best friend," Steven grumbled at his detector. "I knew I should have gone for the Copper Kitty Collector." The lights suddenly flashed in his house. "Eh, maybe the Gems brought me something."

* * *

Unfortunately, the only thing Steven got was a look of confusion upon entering his house. The Gems looked rather worse for ware. All three of them were covered in mud and dirt, their hair was in a mess, and their postures were unbalanced.

"Uhhhh," Pearl moaned as she staggered off the pad, her entire head a sickly green. "H-Hi St-Steven. H-How was y-your-" Her cheeks puffed up and she collapsed to the ground. "Bleech!"

"Ew!" Steven covered his nose as he ran to grab some paper towels. "What happened to you guys?!"

"Angry…living…tornado," Amethyst said, nauseatingly. "So…much…spinning." She struggled to reach the couch, stumbling left and right before collapsing just short of it.

"Amethyst!" Steven dropped the towels and ran to help her.

"I…okay." She moaned, giving a half-hearted attempt at a thumbs up.

"Steven…"

Steven turned to Garnet. He had just enough time to grab the fallen bubble as she came apart. On the ground in front of him lay Ruby and Sapphire, both looking as bad as their fusion.

"Guys," Steven whimpered. He sent the bubble off before grabbing each of the Gems and dragging them over to the couch. He gently lowered each Gem to the floor, a soft pillow placed under each of their heads.

"Just try and take it easy," he said softly. "You've done enough for the day."

* * *

(1): "Up! One, two, three, four! Down! One, two, three, four!"

(2): "Left! One! Right! One! Down! One! Up! One!"


	2. Steven's Plea

Spa Gems

For the next hour or so, Steven did his best to tend to his guardians. He cleaned up Pearl's vomit and, in case she threw up again, moved her onto the couch, rolled her onto her side, and placed an empty bucket on the ground next to her head (he learned this technique from an episode of Under The Knife). He also placed an icepack on each of the Gem's foreheads and even started a pot of tea on the stove. By the time the Gems began to stir, the house smelled strongly of mints.

"Ugh," Amythest sat up and rubbed her head. "I can still feel the spinning."

"Here," Steven handed her a cup of tea. "I had to look the recipe up online, but I think it's exactly how Pearl makes it."

"Steven, that's very sweet of yu-yu-" Pearl was cut off by another surge of vomit, which thankfully mostly made it to the bucket.

* * *

Sapphire winced as she rubbed her single eye. "Ruby and I thought we could use our heat and frost powers to neutralize the tornado," she explained.

"Turns out unfusing in 200 mph winds was not the best idea," Ruby grumbled.

"I got hit by a cow," Amethyst muttered. "And it wasn't even funny."

Pearl staggered off the couch, trying to regain fortitude. "Well, what matters is we won. The monster is bubbled and…" Her eyes widen. "Garnet had it! Ruby! Sapphire! Did you-!"

"I got it," Steven gently pushed her back down to the couch. "It's safe in Garnet's room."

"Well, chalk another victory for the C-Gems," Amethyst said, with weak enthusiasm. She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled for the temple door. "Well, I'm going to bathe in my junk. Call me in a week or so."

"No," Steven grabbed her wrist and dragged her onto the couch, followed by Ruby and Sapphire. "You guys need to hear me out."

* * *

Once he had all their attention, Steven cupped his hands, took a deep breath, and said, "I think you guys need a break."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "What? From Gem missions?"

"Exactly," Steven explained. "You've spent this entire week doing nothing but work and I think it's starting to hurt you."

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Steven. We've been in worse situations than this. Sure, we may have gotten a few scratches, but other than that we're fi-fi-oh!"

"Here come the chunks," Amethyst chuckled as Pearl lunged for the bucket, before going back to massaging her temples with her thumbs.

* * *

"See?" Steven pointed a finger at the barfing Gem. "When's the last time Pearl barfed? Amethyst, you can barely walk. And Sapphire, you and Ruby look terrible."

Ruby sneered at this remark, but it was true. In addition to their dirty clothes and disheveled hair, both their faces were streaked with creases and wrinkles and Sapphire's half-opened eye was red and sore. She rubbed it, wincing slightly. "Well, maybe I have been a little over reliant on future vision."

"Ah, you guys are all pathetic!" Ruby grumbled. She flexed her biceps. "See? I feel like a million-ow!" She squealed and clutched her sore arm.

* * *

Steven sighed and took on a more compassionate look and tone. "Look, I know it's your duty to go on missions and fight monsters and stuff, but this is getting out of hand. You were barely home all this week. You almost got creamed during that last mission! You're working yourselves down to the Gem and it's got me worried. You **need** to take a break from it before you go crazy."

Taking a seat in front of them, Steven took all their hands in his. "I know why you leave me out of missions. You want me to have a life. Well, I want you all to have lives too. You're so much more than just warriors to me."

At those words, Pearl and Sapphire felt tears forming in their eyes. Ruby and Amethyst were likewise.

"Please," Steven gave them all a hopeful smile. "If you can't do it for yourselves, just do it for me."

After a moment of silence, Ruby and Sapphire got up from the couch and took each other's hands. One flash of light later and Garnet appeared, her shades gone and her eyes leaking tears. Picking up Steven, she hugged him, joined immediately by Pearl and Amethyst.

"Okay Steven. We will."

* * *

 **I know this story hasn't exactly lived up to its "Humor" genre marker yet, but I promise that the story will get funnier as we go on. As always, leave a comment below and I'll see you again soon!**


	3. Relapse

**Hey guys, DragonBat362 here! Chap 3 is here! Now before I let you off to read, I'd like to come forward and apologize for keeping you all waiting. I said I would be releasing new chapters every few days and it's been a week. I wish I could have gotten this chapter done sooner, but between Thanksgiving and some personal family issues, I was quite busy. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

Spa Gems

" _Can't you see it in our eyes? We're the one, we're the one, two, three, four_ ," Steven sang to himself as he played along on his ukulele. " _We're not like the other guys. We're not like anybody_." The young boy sat next to the shore, amusing himself as he watched the tide go in and out.

Since his talk with the Gems yesterday, Steven had decided to give them some alone time. Aside from a brief greeting at breakfast, he'd left them to their own devices. He figured that Garnet was probably chilling (not literally) in her lava pool in the burning room, Pearl was meditating in her waterfall room, and Amethyst (obviously) had simply gone back to sleep in her junk yard of a room. He trusted them to stick to their word and stay away from Gem work. After all, it was the same expectation they had for him.

* * *

"Steven!"

Steven stopped playing and spun around to see Connie rushing towards him, Rose's sword and scabbard draped over her shoulder.

"Connie!" Dropping his ukulele, the young boy rushed over and hugged Connie tightly.

"I haven't seen you all week," Steven said, as they both returned to Steven's spot and sat down.

"Yeah well, school work and all,"(1) Connie said, shrugging. "Mom and Dad say that if I don't keep my grades up, they'll take away my sword privileges."

"Bummer."

"Yeah, I'd much rather be sharpening my sword instead of sharpening pencils," Connie joked. "So anyway, how are things with you and the Gems? Anything cool happen why I was gone?"

* * *

Steven told her all about the Gems being overworked. Connie gasped when he brought up their post-tornado fight condition. "They fainted on you? Even Garnet?!"

Steven nodded.

"Yikes. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you."

"It was scary," Steven said, looking down. A small tear began to form in his eye. "They barely made it back. Who knows what would have happened if I wasn't there."

In response to this, Connie slid closer to Steven, wiped it away, and put her arm around him. "Steven, don't beat yourself over this. What matters is that you were there. Did you tell them how you felt?"

Steven sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Yeah, I told them how they were starting to worry me. They said…they promised to take some time off."

"Well, good," Connie said. "A little talk goes a long way. Trust me, I know."

Steven chuckled. "Yeah, I bet-"

BOOM!

Both their eyes widened. "Oh no!"

* * *

As the kids neared the beach house, they were treated to a shock. The Gems were in the middle of a battle with a giant scorpion! The beast, jet black and the size of a small elephant, angrily jabbed his stinger at the Gems as they circled him, looking for an opening. Garnet lunged forward and punched it in the face, but the scorpion merely shrugged it off and jabbed at her. She ducked, her face narrowly avoiding the stinger's tip. "It's armor's too strong!" Pearl yelled, as Garnet leaped back. "We need to-whoa!" She barely had time to parry the stinger with her spear.

The scorpion's eyes narrowed at his two attackers. He flexed his stinger, preparing for another attack, when suddenly Amethyst's whip wrapped around it and pulled it back. "I've got him!" she yelled, straining to hold the beast in place. Garnet leaped over the struggling scorpion and seized its tail. With a massive tug, she managed to force the beast up onto its hind legs, revealing its underbelly.

"Pearl, hit it! Now!"

With a single flourish, Pearl drove her spear into the scorpion's belly.

POOF!

It exploded, leaving behind a Black Opal.(2)

"Whoa-hoo!" Amethyst cheered as Garnet bubbled the Gem, sending it off. "Another victory for the C-GEMS!"

* * *

"No! No! No! No! No!" Steven yelled as he and Connie approached the trio.

"Steven?" Pearl quickly vanished her spear. "You-you saw that?"

"Yes and what the heck guys?!" Steven yelled. "I thought you were taking the day off!"

"Well, we _were_ ," Pearl said. "We spent the whole morning cleaning the temple and tidying up the house."

"Then we went off and fought a scary basilisk!" Amethyst declared, before Garnet jabbed her to be quiet. "And a giant Venus fly trap. Ow!"

Steven looked at them in disbelief.

"Steven, we-" Pearl began.

"How could you guys lie to me? After everything I did for you!" Tears of anger began to flow from Steven's face. "I cleaned up your vomit. I made you tea. I took care of you guys!"

"And we were grateful for it, Steven," Garnet cut in. "But we can't just sit around when a monster pops up."

"That's not the point!" Steven yelled at her. "You made me a promise. I trusted you and you lied to me. How…How would you like it if I snuck off and did missions without telling you?!"

None of the Gems could offer a retort at that.

"I know how much you hate that," Steven said. "But…it's for the Earth, so it's worth the risk, right? It's all I have to live for!"

"Steven!" Connie ran over and grabbed her friend, spinning him to face her. "Please. Stop." Her face was filled with concern.

This was enough to snap the boy out of his angry rant. He hugged Connie and let his anger fade away. The Gems stood in silence, the only sound coming from the lapping waves on the shore. After a moment, Garnet walked forward and took the two kids by the hands. "Come on, let's get inside."

As the group walked to the house, Steven glanced up at the Gem leader.

"Garnet?" He pointed. "Your cheek."

Garnet took notice of the thin gash on her cheek. Apparently, the stinger hadn't _completely_ missed her face.

* * *

 **Originally, I was simply going to have Connie suggest the spa after Steven tells her what happened. However, I thought to myself, 'the Gems (except for Amethyst) are very anti-social when it comes to humans. It will probably take some stronger pushing to convince them to abandon their comfort zone, much less allow themselves to be willingly probed and poked by humans.' Thus, I decided to add in the "relapse" part. I think it turned out pretty well.**

 **I know this has been a lot of drama for a supposed "humor" story, but bare with me. The real humor will start once we get to the spa. Honestly, times like this make me wish the Doc Manager would let me use more than two genre markers. I'd have filed this as "Adventure/Drama/Humor" if that was the case.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Please leave a comment if you did and I'll see you next time!**

(1): Honestly, this is the best reason I could come up with for why Connie isn't always involved in Gem missions.

(2): I picked this randomly off a chart of Gemstones I Googled. It just looked cool.


	4. Acceptance

**Hey guys! Sorry for the 10 day wait. Speaking of the number 10, I can't believe I got 10 followers on this story! Honestly, I thought I would be lucky to get 5. Apparently, you guys really like my stuff. Thanks for all your support!**

 **Okay, enough rambling. On to the story.**

* * *

Spa Gems

Steven had gone to bed without a word to the Gems. By the time they emerged from the temple the following morning, he'd already left to hang with Connie.

Pearl sat in the kitchen, Amethyst lay on the living room floor, and Garnet sat on the couch. None of them could do anything, but listen to Steven's outburst play over and over in their heads.

After what seemed like hours, Pearl finally spoke. "Garnet, do you think-"

"No," Garnet said, her voice flat. "We can't just go and apologize. That would only just make things worse."

"But…surely there must be some possible-"

"I'm not even using it," Garnet once again cut her off. "I just know."

"We lied to him," Amethyst muttered. "I mean, we've done it to him before, but this just felt so…different."

"All those other times, it was to keep Steven safe," Garnet explained. "He was just trying to look out for us this time."

* * *

"You know, giant tornado fights aside, maybe he really does have a point," Amethyst said. She sat up and raised her arm to the beach outside the window. "I mean, look at that. We've been on this planet for thousands of years. When's the last time we went out and just had fun?"

"Well, there was the beach party with the Pizzas," Pearl said.

"Only because Steven set it up," Garnet reminded her.

Pearl paused to think. "Well, what about the times we've gone to Funland?"

"We only go because Steven asks us to," Garnet once again reminded her.

* * *

"Oh please, Amethyst goes there all the time," Pearl said defiantly. "In fact, Amethyst, you're always sneaking out and having fun. You go hang out with Vidalia, you wrestle, you-"

"Why do you think she had to sneak out?" Garnet said. "You think we would have let her otherwise?"

"Ha! Yeah right!" Amethyst laughed. She threw her voice in an imitation of Pearl. " _Oh Amethyst, why can't you just stay at the temple like a good little Gem? Why must you insist on socializing with that uncultured broad!_ "

Pearl was flabbergasted. "What! I would never-"

"Yes, you did," Garnet said. "It wasn't until she painted Rose that you finally accepted her."

* * *

"I practically had to drag you to your first concert," Amythest chuckled. "If it wasn't for that pink-haired girl."

"Oh yes, I remember her. She gave me her number," Pearl said. Her eyes suddenly went wide as she came to a realization. "That concert was months ago! I still haven't called her!" She jumped up from her seat. "Amethyst, find me a phone! Oh, where did I put that number? Where did I put that number?!" She started for the temple, but Garnet held her back.

"Now's not the time, Pearl."

Now utterly defeated, Pearl marched over to the couch, where she buried her head in her hands. "She's probably forgotten about me at this point. Garnet, could you-"

"No," she said flatly.

* * *

Amused by the whole thing, Amethyst finally got up from her spot on the floor and joined the two on the couch. "Well, least now we've all accepted the truth." She sat back with her arms behind her head. "We're a bunch of lying, workaholic introverts and Steven has every right to be pissed at us." She paused. "It still hurts, but I actually feels kind of better now."

Finished with her pity party, Pearl looked up and sighed. "Doesn't change the fact that he's still angry with us. There's no telling how long it'll be before he finally forgives us."

At that moment, Steven and Connie walked in the front door, big smiles on both of their faces. "Hey guys, guess what?" Steven said cheerful as ever. "You're forgiven!"

* * *

 **Good news, we're FINALLY finished with all the drama! Things will be getting happier next time. See ya!**


	5. Invitation

**Yep, two back-to-back chapters! Enjoy.**

* * *

Spa Gems

Needless to say, the Gems were baffled.

"Oh…well…thank you. Steven," Pearl stammered awkwardly. "But uh-" She turned to Garnet and whispered, "Garnet help me out here."

Taking charge, Garnet stood up and approached the two kids. "Steven," she said. "We're all sorry for lying to you. You were right about everything; we're a family and we all need to watch out for each other. We shouldn't have taken your kindness for granted."

"If there's anything we can do to make it up to you, man," Amethyst joined in, "We'll do it."

"And we'll try and be a little more outgoing, if that's what you want from us," Pearl concluded.

The three of them huddled together and opened their arms, expecting a hug from Steven.

* * *

However instead he and Connie glanced at each other and began snickering. The Gems quickly got back to their feet.

"Okay, now I'm confused," Garnet said.

Regaining his composure, Steven looked up at his three guardians, hands on his hips. "Thanks guys, but you're not getting off that easy."

"Huh?" All three of them said.

"We're glad you're all sorry for lying," Connie added, arms crossed and smiling smugly. "But we're still going to punish you."

"Punish _us_? " Pearl said, incredulously.

"Yep," Steven said. "You can forget about any missions or Gem stuff today."

"Or hiding away in the temple," Connie added.

"Because you'll be spending the rest of your day here," Steven pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Garnet for the three of them to see.

* * *

 **Beach City Ocean Breeze Spa**

 **Wash away the stresses of life with one of our many treatments! Book your appointment today!**

* * *

The Gems looked back at Steven, each one sporting a different look of confusion. "Steven, what is this?" Pearl asked.

"Only the finest and fanciest spa in Beach City," Steven said. "It was all Connie's idea actually."

This did little to clear up Pearl's confusion. "Well, that all sounds very exciting," she said. "but what exactly is a spa?"

"It's a building that offers health and beauty treatments," Connie explained, matter-of-factly. "My mom's a regular there. It's the only way she can recover from all her long hospital shifts. Anyway, she took me there a few weeks ago and I had an amazing time. You relax, people tend to your every need, and you come out feeling like a whole new person. They have everything: massages, manicures, pedicures, mud baths-"

"Mud baths?!" Amethyst's eyes went wide and a big grin shot across her face, "Count me in!"

* * *

"Hold on a moment, Amethyst," Pearl said, "Connie, I'm sure it's lovely, but I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel being…"

"Around other humans?" Steven asked.

"No," Pearl felt herself blush, "It just all seems to involve a lot of…physical contact and I…"

"Oh please!" Steven blurted out. "You guys fuse all the time."

"Yes, but that's with Gems," Pearl stated.

"You danced with Dad in Empire City," Steven reminded her. "You have no excuse."

"Besides, they're all about cleanliness, Pearl," Connie added. "They even make you shower between treatments. It's actually very fancy. You've got nothing to worry about."

"And even if you did, you still have no choice," Steven's smug attitude came back. "We've already picked out all your appointments. Dad paid for everything. Your session starts at noon." He folded his arms triumphantly. "No exceptions."

* * *

Pearl opened her mouth, but Garnet covered it. "Pearl, you really need to keep your mouth closed," she warned. "Bugs could nest." She turned back to Steven and, to his delight, she was smiling. "Steven, we'd love to."

"Well…what about Beach City?" Pearl said after prying Garnet's hand off. "We can't just leave it unguarded."

Steven and Connie grinned at each other again. "Leave that…to us." Taking each other's hand, the two kids were immediately engulfed in a bright pink flash of light, out of which appeared Steveonnie. Striking a pose with Rose's sword in hand, the fusion saluted the Gems.

"Steveonnie, Beach City protector, reporting for duty! And look!" They whistled and, as if on cue, Lion rushed through the door of the house and knelt before them. "We've even got our own trusty stead."

* * *

Garnet chuckled at the kids' act. "Well, that answers that."

"Whoo-hoo!" Amethyst threw up her arms in victory. "Mud baths, here we come!"

Pearl briefly closed and opened her eyes, trying to take all of this in. Finally, she let out a breath and said, "Well, as long as you two have everything under control, I guess we will be going to this spa." As an added bonus, she even started to smile. "I did say we would try and be a little more outgoing, now did I?"

"Sure did," Stevonnie said, "Besides, we're sure the Pearl we know could handle anything a mere human could." They grinned slyly. "You _are_ a Crystal Gem, aren't you?"

"Well of COURSE I am," Pearl scoffed, as though she'd been insulted. With more confidence, she said, "And you know what? I'm actually looking forward to this spa. I've got nothing better to do today and frankly, all these monster battle have gotten me rather tarnished."

"Then it's settled," Garnet declared. She placed a hand on Stevonnie's shoulder. "Stevonnie, Beach City is all yours. Be sure to keep the harmony." She turned to her companions. "Come on Gems, our appointment's in an hour."

Amethyst winked at the duo as they headed for the door. "Slick."

* * *

Once the Gems were gone, the fusion went over to Lion and patted the beast on the head. "Great job, Lion. We totally sold them." Lion growled and began nudging their jean shorts.

"Okay, deal's a deal." The fusion pulled several Lion Lickers out of their pocket. "But you won't be getting anymore until we're off-duty."

* * *

 **Yep, five chapters in and we're FINALLY getting to the spa! Thanks for being patient guys. Now, the REAL fun can begin.**


	6. First Impressions

_**Guess Who's Back,**_

 _ **Back Again,**_

 _ **Dragon's Back,**_

 _ **Tell a Friend,**_

 _ **Guess Who's Back,**_

 _ **Guess Who's Back,**_

 _ **Guess Who's Back,**_

 _ **Guess Who's Back,**_

 _ **Nah nah nah!**_

* * *

 **In all seriousness guys, I'm glad to be back, but I feel like I owe you all a bit of an apology.** **As you can remember, I said I would get back to the story in two weeks (after I finished my college finals) and it's been over three. Sorry if I kept you all waiting. Between spending quality time with my family and a lot of last-minute Christmas shopping, I was pretty busy.**

 **Thankfully, I've finally finished the next chapter of Spa Gems and what great timing with Christmas literally just a day away (that is, if you live in the southeast like me). Consider this my gift to all you readers and followers. Enjoy!**

* * *

Spa Gems

Despite it's name, the Beach City Ocean Breeze Spa, as it turned out, wasn't near the beach at all. Instead, the Gems found themselves walking into a secluded, forested area of Beach City. After about half an hour of walking, the spa came into view.

It was a far cry from what was typically seen in Beach City. The forest opened up to a grassy plain, on which stood a massive, multi-storied building made of polished white stone. The road leading to the entrance was flanked with statues and rows of flowers and ended in a cul-des-sac, with a large stone fountain as a centerpiece.

"Ooh, this is nice," Pearl mused to herself as they walked along the road.

"The kids did say it was fancy," Amethyst added. The three of them passed the fountain (Pearl taking a moment to admire it) and entered the building.

* * *

The lounge was bowl-shaped and appeared to be carved out of the same polished stone as the outer building. The walls and floor appeared to sparkle as they were hit with sunlight from the overhead skylights. A stone walkway led from the front doors to the check-in desk, behind which stood a floor-to-ceiling mural of a mermaid sitting upon a rock. On either side of the walkway were, among many rows of flowers, large stone basins that caught streams of water pouring from the ceiling. Along the sides of the lounge were sitting areas with comfortable couches and chairs. To top it all off, the scent of perfume hung in the air.

Amethyst slapped a hand to her forehead at the abundance of decor. "Boy, they wasn't kidding,"

"Quite the ambiance," Pearl admired. She sniffed at the fragrance. "And that smell is almost as good as my room in the Temple."

"Come on, you two," Garnet said, leading them over to the check-in desk.

* * *

A blond women in a white blouse and pants sat behind it, typing into a computer. At the sound of approaching footsteps, she glanced up and smiled. "Hello," she said. "May I help you?"

Garnet stepped forward. "My name is Garnet and this is Pearl and Amethyst. We have scheduled appointments. They should be under ' _Universe_.'"

The woman quickly looked up a list of names on her monitor. "Universe. Universe. Ah, here you are. Let me just call up Jolene." She placed a hand to a microphone in her ear. "Jo, we have guests."

* * *

A moment later, a second woman in the same outfit entered the room, clipboard in hand.

"Jo, this is Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst," the receptionist explained. "They have the noon appointments."

"Thank you, Cilicia. I'll take it from here," Jo said before turning to face the trio, a smile on her face. "Welcome to the Beach City Ocean Breeze Spa. My name is Jolene and I will be responsible for your care and comfort."

She held out her hand and Pearl, not wanting to come off as rude, stepped forward and shook it.

"It's nice to meet you, Jolene," she said, "I must say, your spa is very…attractive with all this decor."

It wasn't Pearl's finest attempt at a compliment, but Jolene seemed flattered anyway. "Well, thank you. I take it this is your first time here at the spa?"

"It's our first time at _any_ spa," Amethyst said abruptly.

"Amethyst," Pearl hissed under her breath.

"Oh no, no, no. It's nothing to worry about, Miss Pearl," Jolene assured her. "There's a first for everything. We consider it an honor that you've chosen Ocean Breeze as yours first spa experience."

"Well, we didn't have a choice really," Garnet stated, folding her arms. "Our little boy pretty much forced us to come."

"Yeah, we pretty much overworked ourselves and he ended up grounding us," Amethyst added, jokingly. "Said this was our punishment."

"Well, I can assure you that this will be one of the most relaxing and rewarding ' _punishments_ ' you'll ever receive," Jolene said, with a chuckle. "Now, why don't we get you all started?"

* * *

Jolene led the Gems out of the lobby and to the shower rooms. There, she handed them each a white robe and pair of slippers. "Cleanliness is one of our top priorities," Jolene explained. "We require that all spa visitors shower upon arrival and between treatments."

"No argument there," Pearl happily took her robe and slippers.

"Just head in there, wash off, and slip into these robes. We'll escort you to your individual treatments afterwards."

And with that, Jolene stepped aside and the Gems entered the shower rooms.

* * *

Upon entering, they were immediately accosted by a thick layer of steam and the sight of at least a dozen or so naked women occupying the various shower stalls. Garnet shifted her gaze, Amethyst giggled, and Pearl felt her cheeks turn red. Obviously, they hadn't expected to be sharing the room with others.

"Oh, hello," one of the women greeted them as she stepped out of a stall, drying her body off with a towel. "If you need to shower, these over here are empty."

She directed the Gems over and they each got into their own stall. They turned on the water and the woman began to giggle.

"Aren't you going to undress first?" she asked.

"Oh, well..." Pearl stammered. said uneasily.

"No need to be shy," the towel woman said with a smile, "We're all girls here."

"Oh, it's not necessarily shyness," Garnet explained in a more relaxed voice. "Our bodies are just, well, different from yours."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. We see all sorts in here," the towel woman nodded at the other bathers around them. "Go on, take off your clothes."

The Gems looked at each other in consideration.

"Well," Pearl said, "I guess she has a point."

Garnet nodded. "Let's do it."

All three stalls filled with bright flashes of light, forcing all the other occupants to shield their eyes.

"Whoa," the woman said once the light finally faded and she regained her sight. "What was up with…AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

" **I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll.** "

* * *

"Wow, this actually feels good," Pearl admitted.

She and the other Gems began to shower, but stopped upon seeing the horrified expressions of everyone else in the room.

"What?" Garnet asked, her three eyes uncovered.

The towel woman smiled nervously. "Oh n-nothing," she said in a rather unconvincing tone. "You know, they let you wear bikinis in here too."

* * *

 **Spa treatments will be next. I promise that this next chapter won't take as long to write.**

 **I wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Years!**

\- The Metatron quote was from the Kevin Smith film Dogma.

\- I've never been to a spa. All my knowledge of them comes from the Internet.


	7. Spa Experience

**"I couldn't help it. It just popped in there" - Ray Stanz, Ghostbusters.**

 **Yeah, that's what happened to me on Thursday.**

 **Seriously. Here I am, sitting in my college hallway, waiting for my class to start, when suddenly-**

 **WHOOSH!**

 **My writer's block vanishes and an idea pops into my head. I immediately get out my laptop and start typing. Boom! Spa Gems is back on!**

 **It's weird, isn't it? The times our minds choose to give us ideas. For me, they happen when I least expect it. That's actually how a lot of my fics started out. In this case, it was well worth the twenty minutes I missed of Drawing class.**

 **But enough about me, Spa Gems is back! The long-awaited chapter is finally here!**

 **BTW, I read your comment, Crush48, and I've worked on the spacing to make the conversations easier to understand. Let me know if I still need to improve.**

 **Now that that's all taken care of, onto the story!**

* * *

Spa Gems

"Seriously, what was it that had them so riled up?" Pearl asked as they exited the shower room.

Each Gem was dressed in the white robe and slippers offered to them earlier. Upon the polite (but rather insistent) recommendation of the friendly shower woman, they now wore bikinis under their robes. Garnet had on a sports top and boyshorts, Pearl wore a bralette and high-waisted bottoms, and Amethyst sported an underwire top and hipster bottoms.(1)

"Did you enjoy your shower?" Jolene asked. The Gems nodded and Jolene clapped her hands together.

"Good. Now, if you're all ready, my fellow attendants and I shall escort you all to your individual treatments."

* * *

Pearl soon found herself seated on a white, padded table in a treatment room. "So, this ' _facial_ '" Pearl asked, emphasizing the unfamiliar word. "What exactly is its purpose?"

"Well, it has quite a few, Miss Pearl," the esthetician, Martha, explained as she prepared a tray of equipment next to the table. "It provides your skin with much-needed care, it gets rid of blemishes or wrinkles, and it can even make you look years younger."

She instructed Pearl to lie back on the table and then covered her body with a white sheet.

"That gem on your forehead is very beautiful," Martha said, before suddenly reaching for it. "Let me just remove-"

"NO!" Pearl sprang up from the table, both hands clasped over her forehead and a look of terror on her face.

* * *

"Okay, Miss Garnet, here we have the massage parlor," Garnet followed a pair of attendants, Victor and Gordon, into a candle-lit room with two padded massage tables.

"You may want to take off your glasses," Gordon advised, "It's a bit dim in here."

"Oh, they won't be a problem," Garnet replied, a small smile spreading across her face.

"Odd," Victor said, staring at his clipboard. "Your appointment here calls for two massages," He looked up at her, confused. "Is there somebody with you? Was there a mistake in booking?"

Garnet chuckled. "No, it's correct." Her Gem began to glow.

"What the?!" Both attendants covered their eyes as Garnet vanished in a red flash of light and was replaced by Ruby and Sapphire. Ruby wore a top and shorts similar to Garnet's, while Sapphire had on a triangular top and tie-side bottoms.(1)

"Okay," Ruby said, "So we just get up on the tables and-"

She stopped upon seeing both attendants with their jaws on the floor.

"What?"

* * *

"And here you go, Miss Amethyst," Paula, her attendant, said as they arrived at their destination. "Our finest mud bath."

Amethyst's eyes went wide at the sight of the large pool of warm, steaming mud that filled up most of the room.

"Here's your towel," Paula said. "Just please leave your robe on the chair an-"

Paula was cut off as the purple Gem shoved her aside and barreled towards the bath.

"CANNONBALL!"

* * *

After calming down and giving Martha a brief lecture on Gem biology, Pearl allowed her to continue on with her facial. Another issue briefly arose when she refused to allow Martha to apply the facial mask, disgusted by the idea of having white goop spread across her face, only giving her consent once Martha had assured her that their face cream was made from fresh, natural ingredients and was completely hygienic, as well as nourishing, to the skin.

Currently, Pearl lay back on the table, with a white cream mask spread over her face and cucumber slices over her eyes, while Martha massaged her scalp.

"Enjoying yourself, Pearl?" she asked.

Although she tried not to show it, Pearl wasn't really impressed by the treatment. Despite the apparent effects of this highly praised treatment, she didn't feel any immediate changes. All it felt like was white goop on her face. During the earlier parts of the procedure, Martha had gone on about the their face mask was designed to "open and clean out your pores," but this had done little to convince Pearl of its effectiveness, instead making her grimace. Human biology was so weird to her. Besides, Gems never had to worry about blemishes or wrinkles, or even aging for that matter, what with their bodies being mere holograms of solid light. Whoever had designed this beauty treatment clearly didn't have Gems in mind.

Despite all this, Pearl couldn't help, but admit that there was something inherently pleasant about the experience. The bed was comfortable, the cream had a pleasant odor, and Martha's patient and understanding demeanor had more than impressed Pearl. She'd listened to and answered all of the Gem's questions and concerns with complete compassion and empathy, acting as if Pearl's level of comfort was her top priority. And given what Connie had said earlier about the spa, Pearl couldn't be completely surprised.

What did really surprise Pearl was how she felt about it all deep down. During her years as a servant of Homeworld, Pearl had lived under the belief that she was nothing more than an accessory, made to please and serve her master. Whether or not intentionally, she could see a lot of these traits in the employees around her. In fact, it almost felt like a complete role reversal. For the first time in her life, Pearl was actually the one being waited on. Her needs were not only being acknowledged, but being considered with the highest level of importance. And her only obligation in return was to trust in their ability to satisfy her needs. Pearl would never admit it out loud, but she was beginning to see some of the appeal in being in such a position of power. As underwhelming as the actual facial process was turning out to be, Pearl wasn't in any hurry for it to end.(2)

"I don't think I've ever felt better," Pearl responded happily.

* * *

"Ohhhhhhhh," Ruby moaned in delight as Victor kneaded her back and shoulders. "Oh yeah. Ah! Ooh!" She gritted her teeth when his fingers found a particularly sore muscle. "Ohhhhhh!" the red Gem hollered he rubbed the soreness out. "Oh yeah baby!"

Over on her own table, Sapphire giggled at her partner's over-the-top reactions, all the while receiving a light back rub from Gordon.

"Having fun, Ruby?" she asked playfully.

Ruby looked over at her, tears of happiness now flowing down her face. "I haven't felt this good in years," she whimpered. "Ooh!" She squeezed her eyes tight as Victor worked on her leg muscles.

"Boy, I'm feeling a lot of tension on you, Ruby," Victor said as he rubbed. "Stressed lately?"

"Oh, more than you know it," Ruby replied with a small smirk. "Ooh!" She raised a fist and hammered down on the table as Vic reached another sore spot, causing the candles to shake.

"Yikes," Vic chuckled, with a hint of nervousness. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."

"Trust me, you _don't_ want that," Sapphire playfully warned as Gordon began lightly karate chopping her back. "Light her up and she'll burn the whole house down."

Ruby blushed, but her expression quickly changed to anger. "Hey buddy!" Ruby snapped as she noticed Gordon's hands getting close to Sapphire's rear. "Hands off the good stuff!"

"Ruby, it's all part of the massage," Sapphire said assumingly, though she couldn't help but give a little "ooh" and blush as Gordon's hands gently pounded her backside.

Ruby's eyes narrowed and she growled.

"Ow!" Victor threw up his hands as Ruby's skin suddenly went red hot.

"Ruby," Sapphire sighed. "Please don't embarrass us."

The red Gem's face quickly loosened up and she plopped her head down on her pillow in shame. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Geez," Victor said, shaking out his burnt fingers. "I've heard of hot flashes, but that was crazy."

"Oh, she's one big hothead," Sapphire teased.

Ruby turned her head towards her. "Am not," she rebutted.

"Are too,"

"Am not."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not!"

"You are and you will be until you die." Sapphire gestured towards her face and sang, "Future vision."

Accepting defeat, all Ruby could do is blush and smile in embarrassment. She paid no attention to Victor as he (hesitantly) resumed the massage, her eyes locked on her lover.

"Ruby, his hands have moved. You can stop staring at my butt."

* * *

After a quick shower of her own, Paula went back to the mud bath and peeked inside. "Miss Amethyst?" She asked, a bit hesitant. "Are you-" She was caught off in shock.

The entire room was coated in mud. The mess was so thorough that not one inch of white stone was visible. In the center of the room, lying in an empty pool, was one very dirty, very happy Crystal Gem.

"Hey Paulie," Amethyst casually called. "Pump up some more mud, will ya?"

* * *

"My gosh, Miss Pearl. Your skin is glowing!"

"Thank you Stella," she said to the manicurist. Her facial complete, Pearl was now seated in a salon room, a pair of attendants massaging her fingers and toes. Thanks to the cream mask, a soft, warm glow now radiated from her face. If she blushed, it would make her whole face light up.

"I must admit, that facial was quite an interesting experience," Pearl chatted with the attendants. "Never in a million years would I ever think putting white goop on my face would actually be beneficial."

The attendants laughed at her statement.

"Honestly," Pearl continued, "I never thought I'd ever want to do any of this. Spas, beauty treatments. Nothing against you, of course," she quickly added.

"None taken."

"But now that I'm here," Pearl went on, "I'm surprised at how much I'm enjoying it all. The scenery, the hospitality, even these weird treatments. It's all very relaxing."

"Well, that's what Ocean Breeze is all about, Miss Pearl," Tammy, the pedicurist, said. "Relaxing and remolding customers. Some may be a bit hesitant at first, but they always leave feeling better than when they came."

"Trust us," Stella added with a smile. "By the way, would you be interested in any nail polish?"

"Well, I don't typically don't wear nail polish," Pearl said, "but I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. Do you have any teal-colored polish?"

* * *

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"Miss Garnet!" Randy called through the sauna door. "We got a call from maintenance about the heat. Are you alright in there?" When no reply came, he opened the sauna door.

"Holy smokes!"

The temperature was so high, he had to duck out in order to breathe, his face now drenched in sweat. Rather than open the door again, he merely peered his watery eyes through the steamed-up window. Inside, Garnet was sitting pleasantly. Far from the near-death experience of her attendant, the Gem leader was basking in the swelling heat and steam that filled the entire room. Randy was left speechless.

"Who _are_ these women?"

* * *

"This way, Miss Amethyst."

"Oh, come on! I was right in the middle of my bath!"

Paula desperately tried to stay calm as she led the fuming Gem down the hall. "I'm s-sorry," she stammered. "but other customers have to use the mud bath too." Gulping, she added, "And besides, we have something even better for your next treatment."

The two entered a room with a small pool. Amethyst cheered up immediately. "Ooh!" she rubbed her hands together. "A hot tub."

"NO" Paula yelled. Catching herself, the attendant breathed and (rather forcibly) calmed herself before continuing. "Actually," she explained, in a much more pleasant voice, "It's a fish pedicure pool."

Amethyst raised an eyebrow. "A what?!"

"A fish pedicure pool," Paula repeated. "You stick your feet in the water and we release a bunch of special fish to nibble at your feet."

"You're kidding."

"Nope," Paula assured her. "These special fish will eat away at all the dead skin and make your feet all nice and smooth." She quickly directed Amethyst over to the pool and rather forcibly pushed the Gem's feet in the water. "Just sit here, don't move, and I'll release the fish. Be back to check on you in a bit." With that, the attendant turned on her heels and rushed out of the room.

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Sheesh, what's up with her?"

From somewhere, an alarm sounded and several vents at the pool's bottom opened. Out swam throngs of tiny doctor fish, whom immediately swarmed Amethyst's feet and began nibbling away.

"He-he, that tickles," the purple Gem giggled. Suddenly, she felt her stomach rumble. "Oh, getting hungry."

She stared down at the fish in the water.

"Maybe just a handful."

* * *

Out of all the things the spa had to offer, Pearl's favorite quickly became the mediation garden.

She sat cross-legged in the soft grass, with her hands (and teal-painted nails) in her lap and her eyes closed, mediating peacefully to the sound of running water from the stream that surrounded the garden and the smell of sweet perfume of fresh flowers. A smile crept across Pearl's face as she looked back on pleasant memories. When Rose was alive and with her. When Steven was young and looked up to her. When she first met the Mystery Girl and actually managed to get her number. For a moment, the stress of protecting the Earth seemed to vanish. Replaced with tranquil bliss.

' _Wash away the stresses of life_.' They couldn't have chosen a better slogan.

* * *

 _Burp!_

"Ooh, good one," Amethyst congratulated herself. She was lying on her back in one of the spa pools. Paula had basically ditched her after coming back to an empty fish tank.

"You know they have a snack bar," a familiar voice said.

Amethyst looked up. Lounging in one of the poolside chairs was Garnet. Steam and heat were issuing from her body, but the Gem leader didn't pay it any mind.

"Garnet."

"Amethyst."

"How long have you been there?" Amethyst asked.

"About an hour. You were sleeping when I came in," Garnet answered.

Amethyst tried to sit up in the water, but ended up sinking. She resurfaced and whipped her hair, sending a spray of water on Garnet, which evaporated on contact. "Whoa G, you're hot!"

"Thank you," Garnet said, smiling.

"Good call on Steven and Connie. This place is awesome," Amethyst continued. "Hot showers, mud baths, free lunches. We should have found this place ages ago!"

Garnet chuckled. "I can't argue with that." She sat up and stretched her toned body. The double massage had done her good. "We owe it to both of them."

"Yeah! We should bring them the next time we come here," Amethyst suggested. "Oh, and Greg too. That old guy could use a shower."

"And a massage," Garnet added.

"Yeah, that too," Amethyst agreed. "Hey G, you up for a splash fight?!"

"Don't challenge me, Amethyst," Garnet warned, rather playfully. "It won't end well for you."

"Oh yeah?" Amethyst teased. "Prove it!" She briefly turned into a small whale and blew water at Garnet. "Or are you BOTH chicken?!"

Garnet knew she couldn't walk away from such a dare. She summoned her gauntlets and grew them giant, a devious smile spreading across her face.

Amethyst's eyes went wide as she realized her mistake. She muttered a scared "Uh-oh" as Garnet leaped into the air and cannonballed into the pool.

* * *

 **And that's it for now! I know the chapter jumped around a lot, but I didn't want to make a chapter for each Gem treatment.**

 **BTW, I'm still going to be doing the Loud House "Tricked" Alternative Story. It's something I really want to do, so I'll see if I can multitask and do both stories simultaneously.**

 **See you again soon!**

(1): I wanted each Gem's swimsuit style to match their personality. I figured that Garnet's/Ruby's would be more athletic, Pearl's would be more conservative, and Amethyst's would be more revealing. Sapphire just goes for causal. My OCD at work again.

(2): Pearl's experience during her facial is where I first experienced my writer's block. I don't know why it was so hard to write, maybe because Pearl has such a complex personality. This is what took up twenty minutes of my Drawing class. Again, worth it.


	8. Meanwhile

**Hey, I introduced Stevonnie. Why not do a chapter with them?**

* * *

Spa Gems

"Ah. Oh. Ow." Stevonnie winched as they walked along the boardwalk, treating burn after burn with healing spit. They'd spent the day chasing down a giant Gem dragon, one who really enjoyed breathing fireballs at them. Unfortunately, the beast had eluded them and flown off, leaving the fusion with nothing but frustration and quite a few light burns. To make things even more complicated, Lion had wondered off for a nap, forcing Stevonnie to continue their patrol alone.

"Oh, thank goodness for healing spit," Stevonnie said to themselves, dabbing a bit of the magical saliva on a cheek burn. Once all their wounds appeared to have healed, the fusion sat on a bench to rest. Despite their determination, the job was much easier said than done. Being only one-quarter Gem and three-quarters human meant that exhaustion came easier and faster for them than it did for the other Gems. Not to mention pain (which they'd already experienced) and hunger.

They looked up at the sun, currently beginning a slow decline from its high point in the sky. The fusion didn't have a watch, but Connie's intellect told them that it was late afternoon. The Gems wouldn't be back for several hours, and even then, Stevonnie had absolutely no intention of asking them to work on their day off. No matter what, they were going to finish this. Together.

 _Grumble!_

Stevonnie put a hand on their stomach. "Right after some lunch," they declared. "Pizza? Yeah, pizza sounds good." Tucking Rose's sword under their arm, they headed for Fish-Stew Pizza.

* * *

The smell of melted cheese greeted them on the way in. The parlor was empty, save for the elder of the Pizza family manning the counter.

"Hello, Nanfua!" the fusion waved to her.

"Hello Steven. Hello Connie." Nanfua responded cheerfully.

Rose's sword hit the floor with a thud, its owner left speechless.

"You know?!" they stammered. "What-How-"

"I may be old, but I'm not dumb," Nanfua answered proudly. "I know Steven and Connie when I see them. This is one of your special Gem tricks?"

"Well-yeah," Stevonnie struggled to find their words, still baffled by Nanfua's discovery. "I-We-Uh-"

"You here for lunch?" Nanfua guessed.

' _Pull yourselves together_!' Stevonnie thought. Shaking their head, the fusion straightened up and spoke more professionally. "Yes, please. I'll-We'll have two personal pan pizzas. One pepperoni and one ham and pineapple."

"Two pan pizzas coming right up!" The old women merrily strolled into the kitchen. "Take a seat, anywhere you'd like."

Stevonnie took a seat, sliding Rose's sword and scabbard under the table. A few moments later, Nanfua emerged from the kitchen, two large sodas in hand. "Your pizzas are in the oven." She placed them on the table. "Here, take a load off."

Stevonnie eagerly took one of the drinks and began to gulp it down. Nanfua took a seat across from them.

* * *

"So, what have you two been doing all day?"

Stevonnie wiped their mouth before answering. "The Gems are taking the day off, so we're watching over the city in their place."

Nanfua seemed delighted. "That's real sweet of you."

Stevonnie shrugged, "Yeah well, they were working too much." They took another sip and added, "Speaking of work, where are Kofi and the girls? Are they here?"

The old woman shook her head, "No, Kofi's sick, Kiki's at a track meet, and Jenny's out with her friends. They were going to close up for the day, but I decided to stick around and keep things going." A buzzer went off in the kitchen. "Your pizzas are done." Nanfua got up and went to take them out.

"Here you go," she said, placing two steaming pies on the table. "Dig in."

Stevonnie licked their lips. "Thanks Nanafua!" They looked between the two pizzas. "Which should we start with? Pepperoni? Okay. Wait!" They halted mid-reach to tie a napkin around their neck. "Manners." Snatching a slice, the fusion began to dig in while Nanfua watched from the counter.

* * *

They were just starting on Connie's pizza when a banging sound came from the roof.

"Uh?" they asked, confused.

"Ugh, rats in the vents." Nanfua scoffed and headed for the supply closet. "Now where did I put that poison?"

The sound came again, this time louder and harder, causing Stevonnie's sodas to shake. The fusion started to grow nervous.

"Uh, I don't think those are rats." They began to reach for their sword.

* * *

Suddenly, a massive claw smashed through the ceiling, directly over Stevonnie's table. The fusion dove for cover as another claw came though nearby. The two claws started swiping at the air as a loud roar came from above.

"What is going on?!" Nanfua yelled from under the counter.

"The dragon," Stevonnie gasped with realization. "It found us."

The two claws gripped the ceiling and, with a loud crack, tore the roof off the building. The dragon stuck its head through the gaping hole and lunged at Stevonnie, mouth open wide.

The fusion dived out of the way and their table was devoured. Reeling back, the dragon locked eyes with them, now huddled on the ground. To make matters worse, Rose's sword was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" They screamed as the dragon lunged its head at them again, this time slamming its mouth into their shield. They struggled to hold the dragon back as it pushed them down against the floor, intending to shove them into its mouth.

"Steven, we can't give up!" the fusion yelled, struggling to maintain some level of confidence. As the top and bottom fangs became to exceed the shield's edges and get closer and closer, Stevonnie desperately looked around the room, but there was not a hint of pink anywhere. Their arms were beginning to strain from the weight.

"Connie, I-I can't hold it!" they cried, their voice growing fearful. "I can't see the sword!" They turned to look back at the dragon and found themselves staring at its upper layer of razor-sharp teeth, mere inches from their face. Its tongue lapped at the shield, which was beginning to crack due to the excessive pressure.

Terrified, Stevonnie closed their eyes.

"Is this the end?"

* * *

Suddenly, there was a sizzling sound and the dragon reared back, shrieking in agony. As it shook its head in pain, Stevonnie spied a " **VIP** " burn mark on its cheek.

"Stay away from my customers, you ugly brute!" Nanfua stood on the counter, heroically banishing the red-hot Pizza VIP iron rod. "You come down here again and I'll turn you into next week's special!"

Furious, the dragon drew its head back, its throat beginning to glow. Stevonnie knew what was coming.

"NANFUA! LOOK OUT!"

A fireball erupted from the dragon's mouth, heading straight for Nanfua. Leaping onto the counter, Stevonnie covered them all with their shield, just in time to block the fire. "Nanfua, are you okay?" Stevonnie asked concerned. Surprisingly, the old woman wasn't the least bit scared. Wiping some soot off her glasses, she chuckled and said, "Talk about a hot lunch."

The dragon roared in fury. Just as it was about to unleash more fire breath, something huge and pink smashed through the shop window.

* * *

"LION!" Stevonnie yelled in amazement as their pink stead took a protective stance in front of them.

The two beasts locked eyes for a moment, growling and snarling at each other. The dragon blew another fireball, but Lion responded with a concussive roar, which deflected the fireball right back at the dragon, scorching it's face. Shrieking in pain, the dragon turned and flew away.

"We've got him on the run!" Stevonnie yelled. They jumped off the counter and, to their relief, spotted Rose's sword amide the debris. Swiping it up, the fusion jumped onto Lion's back and gave him a kick. "Go Lion! Let's finish this!"

With a powerful roar, Lion leaped into the air after the dragon. Right as they vanished into the sky, Stevonnie yelled back, "Thanks for lunch, Nanfua!"

Now along in her store, the old woman looked around at the damage to her store, surveying the smashed window, the debris-covered floor, the crushed furniture, and the giant hole in the ceiling.

"Kids!" she called after them. "You still have to pay for your pizza!"

* * *

 **Yep, Nanfua knows who Stevonnie is. Surprised?**

 **I hope you guys don't think I made Stevonnie too weak. It's not that I don't like them (I do), it's just that we haven't really seen them do a whole lot in terms of Gem-to-Gem physical combat (except for Jasper, who was messed up from Malachite). Also, if you remember from the strength board in Know Your Fusion, they're listed as weaker than Garnet and Opal. I also thought it would be fun for Nanfua to help save the day.**

 **Finally, I have two important announcements to make:**

 **1\. I heavily rewrote and reposted Chapter 9 (Spa Experience: Part 1) after it was initially published. I didn't have enough material for a "Spa Experience: Part 2," I felt that Pearl's development needed some improvements, and I wanted a more proper ending. If you read the original version, I recommend that you go back and re-read the chapter. It's been renamed "Experience."**

 **2\. Next chapter's the final one! Sorry guys, but this story is coming to an end!**


	9. End of the Day

**Well, this is it. The final chapter.**

 **I'm not the best when it comes to endings and forgive me if this one is just a tad bit too corny. I just wanted everything to wrap up nicely.**

 **I've had fun writing this story and I hope you've all had fun reading it.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Spa Gems

"Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Thanks, Dad!" Steven hung up the phone and turned to Connie. "Well, Dad's agreed to pay for the damage to Fish Stew Pizza."

"How's our little friend doing?" Connie asked.

Steven held up the bubbled Almandine. "She's nice and toasty."

Both kids laughed as Steven's beach house came into view.

"You think the Gems are back yet?" Connie asked.

"Hope so," Steven replied. "I can't wait to tell them about the awesome battle we had."

"Miiight want to leave out the part where we almost got eaten," Connie advised.

"Yeah, that might be hard for them to shallow,"

"Steven!"

* * *

" _Doctor, how's the patient?"_

" _Not looking good," the doctor dramatically held up a chainsaw in front of the startled nurse. "We'll have to go…deeper!"_

"Boy, these new episodes are really taking liberties," Steven said.

"Mom's never mentioned chainsaws at work," Connie agreed. "Guess that story got left on the _cutting room floor_!"

As the two laughed at the corny joke, they heard a knock on Steven's door.

"Yes!" Steven jumped off the bed. "The Gems are back."

The door opened and the three Gems walked inside, coming face-to-face with the kids.

"Well guys?" Steven asked, arms folded. "How was it?"

The Gems glanced at each other before rushing forward and pulling the two kids into a hug.

"Whoa!" Steven gasped, "I take it…you had a good time?"

"We had a wonderful time, Steven," Pearl said, once they broke away. "Quite a wonderful time."

"Ooh Pearl," Connie marveled. "You got your nails painted?"

"Yeah, they look beautiful," Steven agreed.

"Oh well," Pearl sheepishly presented her teal-colored fingernails. "It's nothing, really. The color looked nice, so I…"

"Bro, you are a genius!" Amethyst shoved Pearl aside and jabbed Steven on the arm. "Those mud baths were AMAZING! I've never felt dirtier in my entire life!"

"Oh, I highly doubt that," a slightly vexed Pearl muttered as she picked herself off the floor.

"And you should have seen Garnet after the sauna," Amethyst chortled.

"Good call, Steven," Garnet commented. She flashing Steven a grin and added. "And the massages were nice too."

Steven looked overjoyed. "Didn't I tell you?" He said triumphantly. "Just what you guys needed. Now you have somewhere to go when you're off-duty."

"Yes, you did," Garnet replied. "And we look forward to it,"

"You bet we do!" Amethyst hollered. "And next time, you guys have got to try out the mud baths with me!"

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm just dying to roll around in mud with you, Amethyst," she said sarcastically. "Honestly, I think you could spend some time at their salon, getting those abominations on your feet clipped."

"Hey, nobody touches these piggies unless I say so!" Amethyst retorted with a scowl.

"Garnet," Pearl argued, "Tell Amethyst she needs to work on her self-grooming!"

"Tell Pearl to mind her own business!"

Steven and Connie chuckled at the pair quarreled with each other.

"It looks like things really are back to normal," Steven laughed.

"'Fraid so," Garnet said. She got down onto Steven's level and placed a hand on his shoulder, her shades fizzling away to reveal three, affectionate eyes. "Seriously though Steven," She kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you, both of you, for giving us something new to experience."

With that, the three of them embraced, though it was cut short by the sound of a lamp crashing.

"Don't you throw stuff at me, Amethyst!"

"Make me, Pearl!"

"I better stop this before it gets worse," Garnet summoned her shades and cracked her fists.

* * *

Eventually, things settled down and everyone prepared to finish off the night. With permission from her mother, Connie was allowed to sleep over at Steven's and the Gems even ordered pizza.

"Now don't stay up too late, you two," Pearl instructed them as the three prepared to head into the temple. "You both need plenty of rest after working all day."

"In fact, you both are off-duty tomorrow," Garnet declared.

"Aw, guys!" Steven begged. "Can't we come on _one_ mission?!"

"I've got this new sword technique that I want to try out!" Connie pleaded.

"Sorry kids," Garnet said with a grin, "but you're both more than just warriors to us."

Snickering, the kids curled up on Steven's bed to watch movies as the Gem trio vanished into the Temple.

"Good call, Garnet," Pearl said. "Personally, I think they need a bit more training before any more solo missions. I'll see to it as soon as their little vacation is over."

"Speaking of vacation," Amethyst said, excitingly. "Where do you want to go next? I'm thinking Empire City."

"Ugh, so you can waste more of Greg's money at those silly casinos?!" Pearl scoffed. "Now myself, I'd be interested in revisiting Ontario Falls," Sighing, she happily added, "I've heard it's one of the most romantic places in the world."

"Boring!" Amethyst booed, "What about you, G? Where do you want to go?"

Garnet was silent, but not out of disinterest. She didn't care particularly where they went. All that mattered to her was the experience. And if today was anything to go by, the next would be just as new.

And just as exciting.

And just as beautiful.

THE END

* * *

 **Spa Gems, ladies and gentlemen!**

 **-applause-**

 **Again, I CANNOT emphasis how much your support means to me.**

 **I've always struggled with self-estieem, especially as a wannabe writer in a competitive world. Every favorite and follow tells me that there is someone out there who not only likes what I have to offer, but WANTS MORE of what I have to offer. That is what makes me happy, folks. That is what keeps me writing.**

 **So, once again, THANK YOU.**

 **I'll see you all next time when I start my Loud House Tricked Alternative Story!**


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